Is it too early to start setting up for Fall? 

The temperature beyond the walls is in the upper-90’s and my body is being boiled and steamed by this heat.  I simply dislike stepping foot outside after 6:30 am.  I have been plotting Fall recipes and Fall candle-choices.  And yet, it is extraordinarily Summer-hot still.  I seem to ALWAYS forget how Georgia-Summer does not even show itself until August.

Emma’s school year kicked off this week.  So, Fall IS coming.  She has been asking me for a full month-each day- when she will finally head out to her new class.  “Soon”, was always my answer.  Until Monday, when I told her excitedly, “Tomorrow!”  I let her pick out a new dress, and she so adorably thought that if she wore it immediately, school would begin.

  She tried it on and said: “Oooh, Da-Da’s gonna love dis one on me”. 

And he did.  She chose something all purple-y.

Will was not sure whether to be happy or sad that his sister was heading off into the real world.  I think he prefers her departure, as it solidifies his status as an only child- which he mistakenly believes he is at times.

Emma was very proud to wear her name-tag with a bear on it.  She also accessorized with a pearl bracelet and a Tinkerbell lip-gloss necklace. 

She was wanting toes painted, but we ran fresh out of time, and ended up saving pedicures for the second day of school.  She spirited some of Anna’s glitter-polish out of her bathroom- and I thought about when the cat’s away, or so the saying goes.

And on my agenda these next few weeks: Get my devotions done more regularly.  Keep on top of our finances.  Keep our meals healthful and balanced.  Maintain uncluttered closets and living spaces. 

 Stay ahead of homework and music and AWANA.  Stay home-based more afternoons than not, so we can speak and relate and know one another well.  And so that we get in the habit of work before play.  I am pounding the words: Do not be a quitter, into the kids’ heads this year.  If there is a choice for a B, or the option of an A, choose to spend 15 extra minutes and claim the A.  Realize that homework is merely setting you up for a lifetime of work, and learning how to cope in a work/home world of hard, daily labor is a very important lesson.  Work not only glorifies God, but it provides opportunity and reward. 

Kids who work hard are simply open to greater possibilities.

But as any parent knows, it takes hard work to make kids work hard.  Training their minds to be willing, training their hearts to see its importance and value.  These are all long-term goals we have, and kids are short-sighted.  I have found that by being home more, we are more relaxed.  We are better-invested in our tasks.  And we are doing it! 

Day-by day-by day.

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; [1]
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

I have begun Christmas shopping in earnest.  Last year’s order and preparation fell behind the necessity of keeping up with a new baby’s needs.  A good reason to be behind, but I was ALWAYS behind.  And I am eager to be ahead of gifting this Christmas.  I want to enjoy the festivities, without the stress of running, driving, going all the time.

This year is my year to shine!  These stuffed toys were between 30 and 40 cents at Hobby Lobby.  For my little nieces.

Keeping on top of a gift-list not only saves money, but allows for gifts that suit the receiver.

I already know who will be the recipient of a boxed set of Beatrix Potter.  Are there any children out there who have not loved the Peter Rabbit series?  I have yet to meet them if they exist.

These snails met the Will/Emma- seal-of-approval.  They definitely met mine.

Our basement gift bin is getting tighter and tighter.  But without my wallet emptying.  And I am prepared, which is…priceless.

What about you all?  Have you started Christmas shopping yet? 

It is 8 o’clock.  I had a dear friend encourage me a while ago- over the phone- to not pass opportunity by to be out with friends.  Particularly at night.  In the words of my Mother: I am my own friend .  These days are busy and chatty and full of teaching.  Solitude is a rare gem, and generally only after 8 do I claim it.  The evenings beckon me and I find it difficult to think right or left, much less drive a car through the dark.  It is not unsocial most-times.  It’s just taking time to unwind and think about where I am at, where am I going for a new day tomorrow.

For some reason, I found myself immersed in memories tonight.  I feel mellow.  It has been a long, but happily productive day.  My kids worked at homework, Emma and I had devotions together, piano practice went well and two-handed playing is becoming more fluid.  I received great encouragement from a teacher today- and it went miles in increasing my thanks.  I cleaned house- as is the usual routine for Mondays when the school-year resumes.   An ordinary day.  But nothing went terribly wrong, so I close the day out with gratitude.

My soul feels full and content, thinking back on our church Bible Study last night, challenged by my own readings today.  God is faithful and His mercies are new each day.

I opened a photo-folder accidentally this evening.  I was looking for a particular landscape scene, and instead fell head-long into  memories from 2006: Mother’s Day: walking through a day several years- and two children ago.

My family has always hiked together.  For as long as I can recall, my parents have incorporated deep relational opportunity into walking- whether meandering through the suburbs near our house, or through hikes into God’s awesome creation.

To this day, almost every time we are together, some or all of us find time to walk, run or hike.  There are not words to express how much growing and teaching has been done through these seemingly ordinary times. 

 Four years ago, Josh was toddling all around, here and there.  He was- and is still-deeply in love with Mimi. 

He is so much Will in these photos, but then tonight: they were both sitting on the couch with me.  He loves his back-rubs, and so he and Will and I were all piled together- one boy: a baby unable to settle, another: a boy so much a baby, but growing up and out before my eyes.  And I saw them both and realized how these boys need something more, something different from me than my girls.  God, faithfully supply that something.

We hiked that day.  A beautiful Spring day.   We attended church, and then packed the car and joined parents and siblings for a hike to Coopers Furnace in Cartersville. 

 No telling how much mileage we have received from our Kelty pack.  But it’s a lot.

I remember eating under the trees. I had spent the night before making pasta salad and bean salad and gathering picnic supplies.   I wanted it to be a special day for my Mom. 

She does not love to cook, so our gift is always to cook for her. 

My Dad’s hair was darker then.  He has had some stressful years lately, and I can see it when I look back.  He is so much of what I know of God, but he has gotten there the hard way.  He has gotten there through shadowy walks and utter darkness at times. 

My parents are not the people I knew when I was growing up at home.  They are stronger now.  They know what is real and what is not.  They know the Anchor that holds them in life.  And as I have told them multiple times: We still learn from you today.  We still watch and follow by example.

I think God has taken them to dark valleys, in order that we would watch and see.  And learn.  And when the time arises, to follow by example. 

My parents have given me Truth.  I hope I give my kids Truth in the good times and the bad.  I hope I point them to Jesus each and every day.  I hope that when the choice falls between frustration over their childishness and grace, that I will choose grace. I hope that when I can side with myself or mercy, I will side with mercy every time.

I remember the night air cooling us as we descended the hill.  It was a long hike, and intense with a Kelty-full of baby.  I remember stopping by a tiny pond to skip rocks- and my Mom worrying that one of the kids would tumble in. 

No one did.  We reached the bottom and packed up our bags and children and food.  We said good-bye and were warmed in the car, running the heat because the Spring breeze was still chilling.

And we left refreshed by the coolness, the invigoration of exercise.  Strengthened by memories-made.

My Mom flew into town for a few hours this week.  It’s always so nice to have her: someone to converse with while I “do life” here at home.  My Mom reads and learns incessantly: about history, politics, church-history, biographies- so she is a stimulating conversationalist.  She has had insomnia for years now, and most times when she stays here, I wake up early and see the light of the media-room on.  And Mom with a book.  She is sleep-deprived, but she has made the most of a frustrating condition by using her night-time well.  There is no telling all the books she has read.

She brought me these from my Dad’s garden.  Dad has put in a small plot behind their house, and from the sounds of it this very small garden is yielding very much produce.  I would die to have a garden which would not be consumed by roving bunnies and baby deer….

Mom graciously allowed/ gifted me with a few hours “off”.  My car- of its own accord- headed immediately to Starbucks.  It is like it has a will of its own.  The barista serving me was very friendly and cordial, and I could tell by her enthusiasm to converse with a stranger, that she was in-training:). 

I went to a junk-shop.  I always have a list in my head of items to pick up if I find them for a steal.

Tinkertoys are a no-brainer.  For $2 I was sold.  They are plastic too, which means no splintering and no cracking.  Colorful as well. 

And some flex-balls from Manhattan Toys- for Will.  It’s hard to quibble about a 50-cent price-tag.

He was pleased.  But Will often has a serious expression on his face.  So whenever I try and prove that he is truly happy, he gives me this glance. 

Pedipeds are flexible, comfortable shoes.  And expensive.  But when they cost $1 and Emma loves them, they come straight home.  Emma and shoes have had an uneasy relationship, so I am choosy about what accompanies her feet.  Shoes must be pliable and cheap- because they may not be worn long or ever truly appreciated.  But she has not taken these off, so I feel that perhaps this is a match made in heaven.

I picked up a new journal this week. 

 Somehow- glancing through my old journals and reading through all the thoughts and desires and great intentions of years-in-the-past…inspired me to record again this life God has given me.  I have long kept a list of goals that I made the first year Pat and I were married.  It makes me so joyful to see how some of our greatest desires have been fulfilled.  And it inspires me to keep recording and setting goals: short-term and long-term.  God hears prayer.  But it really helps build faith to go back and see exactly HOW He has heard and answered.  An answer is a yes or a no.  God answers in both ways.  And when I go back and read and recall, I am encouraged.  The challenge is to make the time to record: but keeping this notebook out with a pen stuck in, has made it relatively easy to sustain this task.

Happy weekending!

My Emmy is going through a “spell” right now.  She is afraid of many things.  I believe this latest fear-factor began when Pat discovered a black-widow in his kayak.  The spider had nested and begun raising a family in the boat, and he and my brother-in-law found it and promptly dismantled its home.

Well.  We had to research the spider, talk about the spider, look outdoors for the spider, and generally breathe spider for a time, until Widow’s memory was forgotten.  It took a couple of weeks.

 Emma was terrified of Black-Widow, and mentioned its name often.  If I pottied, or went upstairs to fetch the baby.  If I vacuumed or snuck off to fold a pile of laundry- I would hear “Mama?”  And then the crashing of fast-paced foot-traffic, as she spied the house looking for me.  “I scared of the spider”.

Eventually, Widow was left in the past, and I was thankful.

Until 2 weeks ago when Fear-Factor began again in earnest.  Fear to be alone in a room, specifically.  I have not pottied solo for approximately 8 years, so this has been a milestone I have been anticipating greatly.  Emma’s fear of being alone anywhere- this sudden, urgent fear- has changed my goals somewhat.

Two days ago, Emma was playing dolls upstairs and I snuck quietly down to the kitchen, a moment to mop the smudgy floors. 

“Mama?  Where are you?  I scared!”  And there she was.  I held the mop and was just plain frustrated.  It is a challenge to get the house cleaned!  She- oblivious to my feelings- sat at the table and started singing:

So whether you eat, or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.  This from our Seeds collection.

The kids speak truth to me many times.  God really uses them to encourage me and to set me straight, through their candid observations and honesty.  My frustration was diffused -first because of her lispy singing, and she sang that song over and over.  But also because she was RIGHT. 

Whatever I do should glorify God.  Whether I mop or not.  Whether I am shadowed or not.  Whether I can accomplish tasks or not.  God does not tell us to glorify him only when we feel success, and we FEEL like we have glorified Him.  But also when we have not done anything profound and the day has been a wash and we don’t FEEL that much of anything has been heroic or successful. 

Whatever I do: glorify God.  My homework- that a 3 year-old has helped me get a start on.

My friend was gifted with these apples last week.  She in turn gifted me with some.

Isn’t it a different experience, working with fresh-picked/wild  vs. force-ripened, store-bought fruit?  There are many more imperfections in “real” fruit, yet generally a better, sweeter taste.  The analogies which could come from this comparison are many.  I’ll refrain.

Pat’s heart beats for anything cobbler.  And since he did come in the door last night with a beautiful letter for me, jotted on a Zaxby’s napkin with a Sharpie- I couldn’t help but return the sentiment.

We have sunk to new lows, with Sharpie-notes.  But it’s nice to be thought of by a husband on a commute.  And I applaud his recycling. 

America’s Test Kitchen produces an amazing cook-book with recipes, tools and ingredients tested for quality.  It’s a Consumer-Report of cooking tips- very helpful- and I refer to it often for help with basic kitchen-type questions.  I love to cook, and recently when I was with my Mom, poring over a magazine of recipes, she found it very mystifying that we share DNA.

(She is the one who regularly cuts her finger while cooking, and has been seen on more than one occasion with a bandage on her index finger.  She cooks more to eat, less for the experience).

I received a letter from the kids’ school yesterday.  Apparently, our county is one of three state-wide which is now partnering with local farmers to bring fresh food to the cafeterias.  How cool is that? I was told that fruits and veggies are going to be increasingly locally-grown: such a blessing for community growers, and better for our kids.  I love this, and when I shared news with the kids, they were duly impressed.  Though not as much as I.

On a different note: Anna has been enjoying Will’s blocks.  This is Paris, complete with the Arc de Triomphe. She has a right-accurate French accent- so cute.  We have a French recording that she likes to practice to: Je suis Teddy.  Quel heure et il?  She may head north yet, joining her cousins in a bi-lingual culture.  My niece and nephew are enrolled at a public school- an immersion school- in which students learn and speak half the day in English/half in French.  So even now, they are virtually able to work with both languages.

We are heading smack-dab into school-zone, as our first assignment came home yesterday.  The projects the kids receive are so interesting: generally based on books they are reading at school.  This one gives 4 options to illustrate reading-comprehension: this week’s story based on early settlers building up a small town.

Option 1: Draw a Venn Diagram comparing character qualities of children in the story.  Find a minimum of 3 qualities.

Option 2: Create an ad poster for a business.  Draw a poster which will persuade consumers to come in and buy certain products.  Create a brand-name.

Option 3: Research jobs in your community.  Create a poster referencing one of these jobs, and write down a numbered list of facts about it.

Option 4: Think about a business you would like to start and write a business plan for it: list materials you will need, people you will hire, etc.  Write a conclusion sentence, telling why you think your business will succeed.

I am consistently impressed with the creativity of the projects my kids are assigned.  I thank God so much for their school.  The teachers are committed, hard-working and regularly find ways to diversify learning, so that students are excited and impassioned.  I applaud them- as they are very gifted.   Even though budget-cuts and a county in debt have changed some of our footing this year, parental involvement and teacher-commitment is high enough that we seem to be progressing well.  And I continue to be thankful for and encouraged by our experience as we public-school.

Will woke from his birthday- nap, to the excitement of a balloon.

The balloon originally looked like this.  But Josh arrived home and I heard “COOL”! He held onto that balloon and he and Emma danced around the house.

Unfortunately, but not surprisingly- I heard a holler and crying.  Emma with big, fat tears rolling down her cheeks.  Josh looking perplexed and nervous.

“What happened, buddy?”

“I just brought the balloon up here and then turned the FAN ON, and it popped!”

Will didn’t notice that his treasure was destroyed.  He was simply thankful for something new and colorful.  For his siblings to be home from school.  To have someone to play with, voices that are loud and boisterous.  My friends were so sweet to remember Will’s day.  One friend prepared a cupcake and had us over to eat it.  Another brought over Mr-Fish balloon and some new bath toys.  Another provided a snack-tray that clips onto a shopping cart: brilliant!  These neighbors and friends challenge me in so many ways, as they are some of the most service-minded people I know.  Their example inspires and encourages me.

Friday afternoons are wind-down times.  We rarely plan anything major to occur on Fridays.  The kids come home from school wrecked from a busy week, and we only relax-generally with dinner, dessert and a movie.   It’s not our single-days Friday nights, but I think I like this tradition better anyhow.

In this case, play-time on my bed filled a quiet afternoon.

Anna was with a friend, so I had only 3 noise-makers with me.

The birthday-boy was very pleased with himself that day.  Although he looks somewhat suspicious in this shot.

My energy crashed and burned by Friday afternoon, so we drove to Kroger to buy Will a cake.  The kids were unanimous that it should be chocolate, and I agreed with hidden reluctance- knowing his clothes would be irreversibly damaged.  And they were:).

I made Will eat penne first.  And he did so obligingly.  He is quite a food-disposal, having yet to meet something he did not find tasty.

Then, the chocolate.

Squished through fingers, smeared across face.  It was appreciated, though I think the penne was more appreciated.  He has healthy taste, which is a good thing- because I have fought the junk-food wars with Emma for long enough.

My neighbor had twins named Emma and Will.  So, we inherited two monogrammed blankets for MY Emma and Will.  And this birthday bib, which proclaims that “Will is 1″.

It was a good day.  We thank God for the gift of life, the gift of parenting, the gift of family.

Big Brother, Little Brother

One year ago this moment, I was cuddling an hours-old baby in a heated, flannel hospital blanket.

Resting

I was exhausted, but running high on adrenalin and pride: because the waddling for 9 months and the aching and the “I think I can” of the ninth month had all run together and made this beautiful moment, where it was just Pat and Will and I.  And we were high on a birth-story-gone-well.

We had created this person and meeting him was the excitement that only lines up with new life.  The sense of anticipation which comes with knowing you are about to greet a part of you.  A real, whole person has lived inside and is now ready to be met and blended into family.

Happy Baby

I was so sleepy in the hospital.  I remember being barely able to visit with anyone, almost-unable to keep my eyes and ears alert to anything but watching my baby and resting.

The kids had waited and waited for Will for so long.  Days are infinite to children, so there is no way to know how long this 9 months seemed to them…except to say that they were ready.

This son of ours has not disappointed.  I have disappointed myself many moments, with how I have adjusted with immaturity and impatience to the needs of another person.

Curious

But he…has been so easy to love.  And loved he is.

This morning the kids could not wait to watch Will open his gifts.  So they had Pat wake the sleeping baby up, so they could celebrate with him before school.  He was kissed and loved and he smiled and wriggled.

 He especially liked his blocks from Mimi.

Ooh, Blocks!

Moments after opening gifts, he slithered out of his seat-belt in the booster seat, stood up and turned around backwards….and toppled the chair over onto the hardwood.

Ka-Boom

And now, he has a birthday-egg on his forehead.

Will, I thank God for you daily.  I am grateful for your life for many reasons: because you have made Josh a brother. 

 You have taught your sisters better how to nurture.  You have bonded us all, as we spend countless hours admiring and enjoying you. 

Birthday Grins

You have encouraged us all in service and selflessness.  You should never have ego-issues, with the way you are adored.  In fact, so solidified is your position in this house, that your siblings call you “The King”.  You are especially fond of your Dad these days, and every evening around 6, you listen for his voice and wail and holler when the door closes.

Da-Da

 Because you know that Da-Da is way fun, and his magic-carpet rides on the sofa-pillows are the best.  You are pretty tight with your “Mama-Ma” and love nothing more than to sink back against me and talk about what bunnies do: you wrinkle your nose and sniff really hard.  We love you dearly, little guy.  You have turned our worlds upside-down in the way that small people do…

….But it’s upside-down for the better.

A new year presents new opportunity for choice.  Last school-year started on August 3rd.  And on August 6th, Baby Will entered our world.  That kind of gives a summary of how ahead I was in life.  I came home from the protected walls of the hospital- where there is a sense of suspension: I don’t quite have to do life alone yet.  I can press a button and a cup of water, with ice chips- arrives at my door.

And then, home again to take on the reality that is infancy in all its difficult, complex…beauty.  Combined with a toddler and two school-aged kids, my year was exhausting to a degree I am only now realizing. 

Pre-Church Photo

Will is turning 1 in just 2 short days.  And my body and mind testify to the fact that the fog is just now lifting.  I don’t identify post-partum depression in my life last year.  But I can easily identify post-partum discouragement, fueled by long and physically relentless days. I didn’t feel black this Baby, but I felt crazy.  At times, certifiably nuts.  Due to pressures and stresses and busy, busy days and interrupted nights.

  I will never look down on a woman who talks about post-partum issues.  It is a real and eager Monster. 

Yet I wouldn’t trade our topsy-turvy year for anything.  God has a way of never giving us more than we can handle, but simultaneously giving us almost more: so that we are face-first in need.  And so that we are humble enough to find Him a priority, and not an after-thought. 

Brothers

My goals have come alive this year.  In marriage and mothering.  My goals have headed homeward primarily, with careful attention to not over-doing it outside my walls.  I want to invite many people in (I increasingly love hospitality), but to be more calculated in not being everywhere, all the time, spread thin and anxious.  The kids-while young- ARE still getting older.  They are not ALL babies anymore.  And the ones in school, absorbing “real life” in a “real world” every moment, needs tons of coaching.  I am an unpaid life-coach.  And since coaching always requires knowing your players, my job is to know them well and consistently. And to cheer, cheer, cheer them on.

I was asked the other day about the Hippie Movement.  Which led to questions about “free love” and the “peace movement”.  Basically, I told Anna (the asker) that as long as you cannot get along with your brother, global peace is a pipe-dream:).  That gave her food-for-thought.

Sisters

I am wanting to sit down at lunch and systematically work through a toddler-Bible with Emma at lunch-time.  Today was fun- as conversations generally are with Emma.  Of all our kids, she is the one who makes us laugh most.  She is irreverent and un-PC, and her thoughts just so …raw.  We started with Genesis and God’s creation.  I asked her what God made.  She said: “The fish and the birds and the kids”.  She wanted to know if God created food as well – her One True Love.  We talked about 6 days of creation.  And she asked me “Did God dance when He was finished?”  Who knows, my Love.  Maybe.  She then got totally fixated on the picture of Cain and Abel.  The photo shows Cain with his fist up-raised, striking his brother.  The seriousness of this was lost on her.  I’ll be honest: Cain has a bad mullet.  And so Emma repeated over and over: “He has such ugly hair.  It’s so ugly.  Why does it look like that?”  I curtailed her remarks with prayer.  She said: “I don’t want to pray”.  I said: We ARE going to pray now, with hands folded and eyes closed.  She wanted none of it.  Squinting, peeking eyes.  I said: “Emma, do you know why we close our eyes?”  She said: “NOPE!”   I explained that our eyes see things our hands want to play with, and it’s important to focus on God while we pray.  She listened and then showed me how she prayed: “Like this”.  Her eyes were half-open and buggy and looking everywhere.

Siblings

Pray for us:).  This little one is so Fun, and so prone to deceit and manipulation all at once.  I pray she will be a Godly woman, who develops a sincere and truthful conscience….but so far, I am not sure it’s there:).

I have decided that it is not God’s will for me to have a clean house.  Part of that is my fault.  Who allowed a Bunny into the roost, and even encouraged the idea?  Right.  And who willingly succumbed to 4 pregnancies, knowing that upon birth I would welcome another critter who joyfully upside-down’s my home?

Right.  It was me.  It is me. I chose this life- this rich and messy life!

Will is the latest tornado to strike.  He is never happier than when I naively leave a drawer open. 

Caught red-handed

Sometimes in the utter excitment of putting away laundry, I leave a drawer or closet door cracked.  And then the turbulent wind of Will crawling at break-neck speeds alerts me to the fact that he has noticed.  Darn it.  He has noticed my mistake.

And he has found a place called home.  Emptying the diaper-drawer is a new favorite.  Stacks after stack of Pampers tossed around makes him feel very proud and fulfilled. 

Project 101

 I like to imagine him an intrepeneur- engaged in thinking outside the box.  How can I make something of these pieces?  But the naked truth is: I just have another boy on my hands. 

He smiles at me.  “Look Mom.  See what I have accomplished in your honor.  Cheers!”

Then he crawls off, quick and sneaky-like, looking for his next project.  Only his projects always require disassembly, instead of the usual assembly.

Off to the next thing!

His room is almost complete- minus a few cosmetic changes to make still.   I took a few photos of his new room.  Our closet as it was, is no more.  We switched all kinds of storage around, and have a system going now that works well for our shoes and clothing.

View from the Bathroom

But I was too lazy to really make it look spiffy. 

My dresser from childhood

 Lots of color.

Corner where wire shelving used to be

Lots of books.

Old Office Mail Sorter for his books

Every morning, Will greets the day by swatting this wooden toy Pat brought home from Italy years go.

Dangling toy-of-joy

I found these plastic crates by the side of the road:), and numbered lables for them.  Our shoes are stored in here.

Crates for Storage

After a day of destruction, sleep is needed!

Good-night, Mess-Maker!